Friday, April 24, 2009

Idea 24 - An Autobiography Kind Of, by Me

Problem: my memoirs would be boring, but I really like talking about myself. And it's no longer cool to fabricate memoirs to the extent that I'd have to in order to make my story worth flipping through on the john.

Solution: this book.

See, I'll be pioneering a new genre. It's called alternate memoiring, or autobiographical fiction or something like that, and it's not a lie, it's a re-imagining. Look:

As the neighborhood kids lightly mocked me about my girlish pre-pubescent voice, I DIDN'T suddenly bolt toward home, unnecessary tears streaming sideways across my cheeks. No. That didn't happen.

Instead I punched two of them in the face, and the others ran in fear of the man they would soon know as The Coiled Snake. (Me.)

And that's when I first had the idea for my first invention: Sex Glasses. And our crazy mixed-up world would never be the same.

So there you go, you've got emotion, action, violence, a cool nickname, and a sex-related invention, and it's all true, except that it's not.

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