Non-fiction. Real elves.
I'll research and interview the actual magical small folks who have inspired all those legends over the years. I may have to pay them in hard candies and exotic flowers, but they'll talk.
I'll slowly win their trust by skipping around their trees and singing their praises while strumming a peppy tune on my lyre. I won't crack any jokes about Keebler or making shoes in the night for old cobblers -- they hate that shit.
When they think they're my friends, I'll trap them in one of those nets made out of olive vines that's been blessed by a wizard, and then it's interview time, baby.
And listen, if anyone out there's offended, let's just say that I happen to know that my quest was foretold in The Glerkin Prophesies. So shut the fuck up.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
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