Friday, May 1, 2009

Idea 29 - Win at Non-Competitive Brainstroming

Everybody needs a leg up in the business world today, but it's hard to compete when nearly everyone is smarter or more talented than you. That's why you need to beat them when they're not aware that they're competing: during a group brainstorm.

The most crucial mantra to keep in mind is "Don't Suggest, Destroy".

Think of that old guideline that when someone asks for volunteers to step forward, you take a step backward. Then think of how you can use this new strategic position to shoot everyone in the back of the head with a crossbow.

Techniques include:
  • Agree in a condescending manner
  • Repeat someone's idea in a way that makes it sound asinine
  • Laugh at someone's idea, then say "Oh I'm sorry, I thought you were joking."
  • Use a threatening smile
  • Mention successful ideas employed by other companies, to sound like you're contributing without actually having an idea
  • Stay awake by subtly punching yourself in the groin below the table
Businesspeople without confidence or the skills to back it up are always searching for some obvious collection of common-sense guidelines about business. You just package it up in a title that sounds like they should have known something already (think "7 Habits Of Highly Effective Whatever"), and they'll feel like they've fallen behind. They'll fucking flip over this thing.

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