Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Idea 31 - Do It & Sue It Yourself, Volume 1: Guestimation and Personal Injury Law

Women nest, men build, and gays get to to do whatever they want. That's the natural order of things, which means that roughly half of the populace needs help with home improvement. And out of all of these millions of would-be fixer-uppers, only a few type-A assholes actually measure things or obtain the right equipment for the job. Which means that the rest of us are left with bleeding stumps and no one to sue. Until this book happens:

When using a chainsaw to shorten a plastic Ikea knicknack shelf, the poorly handled blade may "kick back" violently, meaning both a deep shoulder laceration and a chance at roughly a hundred grand.

The key to cashing in is to invest in a high-end saw, so the manufacturer is more likely to settle out of court to protect their reputation. If you go the cheap route and pick up a saw from some half-ass operation like those cheap bastards at
Kwality Tooooolz, they're more likely to close up shop and move back in with their parents instead of dumping an enormous sum into your remaining hand.

I'd totally buy this book, and I haven't even mentioned the fact that the whole D-I-Y thing is so hip right now.

Blogs? They love it.

Well move over D-I-Y... I'm feeling a little... D-I-S-I-Y! That's trademarked.

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