Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Step 20: Respond To Allegations That I Look Developmentally Disabled In My Profile Picture

This has been a recurring theme the G.M.A.B.Deal. comments -- helpful notes about how my profile picture makes me appear to be a bit handicapable, thinking-wise. First off, I admire your courage and honestly. Let's get that out of the way.

Secondly, I like my picture. Sure, I may have caught myself by surprise when I took it. But if I'm going to get a book deal, I need to seem accessible. If I had posed for a professional portrait that I couldn't possibly afford, I would have intimidated the fuck out of you people. My cheekbones are extraordinarily aggressive, my chin devilishly weak, and my eyes so searing that they could cut a laser in half.

You're simply not ready for it. That's why I'll have all the attendees on the Give Me A Book Tour professionally blinded. It's my responsibility.

1 comment:

  1. May I suggest a members-only section with premium content? Instead of paying actual money, users could submit their unwanted gold, silver, or platinum jewelry in exchange for access.

    Now the challenge is figuring out how to accept this form of payment online. But that's what developers are for, right?