Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Idea 67 - Commuting With God

It can hard to find time to praise the Lord(s), what with today's hectic modern lifestyle and all. But nearly all of us need to commute, so instead of wasting that time tap-tapping away on your mobile phone or systematically half-staring at everyone nearby, why not turn your bored eyes to God instead?

As soon as you start your car, enter the train, or recline on your recumbent bicycle, take ten seconds to repent. Just fill in the blank:

"I did (whatever horrible atrocity you've caused) and I'd like to be instantly absolved. Thanks!"

It's best if you speak it aloud, although this can be problematic in public transit situations or while carpooling. To prevent awkwardness, try speaking clearly, but with your mouth closed. And yes, that still counts in the eyes (and ears!) of the Most Holy Controller Of Our Free Will.

There's a lot more to this one, obviously, including a chapter on how flagellation can be fun when you're stuck in traffic. And of course we'll plan on some kind of a PR stunt on Stern -- maybe strippers who speak in tongues or something. (Pun intended?)

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