Idea 90 - The Face Crusher: A Graphic Novel In 146 Parts

I read The Watchmen recently -- pretty entertaining, and I found it a fun challenge to convince myself that it's as important as people say it is. I think I could pull off something similar, as the key seems to be making it ridiculously long, and I've got nothing but time since I got fired from my volunteering gig.

I'll need a hero with a dark past and questionable morals (but not Batman, The Punisher, The Crow, or Halle Berry's chilling Catwoman). Enter Clarence Melon: The Face Crusher. To make sure it's long enough, I'll need to start... at the beginning:

(Over cool drawings of deep space, nebulas, and cosmic explosions, some intro text appears on those banner things look like they're sort of peeling up from the page)

"Clarence Melon was born of infinite darkness. More specifically, his dark and brooding subatomic building blocks were formed at the beginning of time, during The Great Bang. Over the eons, they were violently rent asunder a billion trillion times -- a fact he would eventually bear like a jagged quantum cross in his dark and interesting heart."

(Next page: super detailed but creepy picture of a male baby with a furrowed brow)
"It wasn't until his dark and foreboding infancy that he crushed his first face."

(Several quick frames of a happy 50's housewife entering a gaily decorated nursery)
"Clar-ence..."
(little musical notes near the text so it's clear that it's all sing-song-y)
"Time to wake up, my precious innocent little--
(her face goes from joy to abject horror in two frames)
"--OH DEAR GOD ITS FACE IS CRUSHED!!!"

(close-up frame of baby Clarence's eyes, cutely oversized but also tainted with a ghost of exciting darkness)
"Gurgle"

(the next couple frames are a sequence of dramatic close ups of his baby cheek, then his baby shoulder, then his baby elbow, forearm, wrist... and then on the next page, a hugely overwrought full-page frame of his fist, which is convulsively gripping a large crumpled doll head. Its face has been crushed, of course -- its dented nose has been flattened against the back of its skull. Clarence's first.)

There you have it, folks. The birth of a franchise. The big theme will be about how Clarence is always walking the line between good and evil while crushing people's faces. By the way, if you know how to draw, text me. (Quick)