Step 30 - Nail Some Dedications

To set the perfect tone for this book about whatever the h this book ends up being about, I've got to nail the dedication, that's for sure. Some sexy candidates for your review appear below. Make with the weirdly enthusiastic feedback ASAP.

To my loving wife--the shapely cloud upon which I rest, like a hot angel, as I float through the literary heavens. Baby, I probably couldn't have done this as quickly without you.

To Bucky, my first turtle, a Rhodesian shellback in whose eyes I found a stillness that can only be described as devine. We miss you, Buck.

To Zach Danning, the dick from my hometown who always used to fuck with me when I was in the iron lung: who's crippled now, shithead? Exactly, neither of us, nice work Sherlock. Feast your eyes on my awesome success, fuckface! Or can't you see me from your luxurious but tasteful house where you live with your smart, witty, generous wife, and conduct yourself by all accounts as a kind and decent man who had faults as a child just like any of us? Eat shit, pal!

A NOTE TO MY INEVITABLE PUBLISHERS: I'm happy to ignore these people/animals if you'd like a personal dedication--I will honestly huff your proverbial dongs right up front if it helps me ink a contract. XO.

Step 24: Get A Head Start On Follow-Up Books

Picture this: Dogs Looking At Household Objects, The Book. Or Upside Down Pictures Of Average-Looking Babies, The Book. Once I've got a book deal for GMABkDee, I'll parlay those contacts into "deals" for one of those two other sure-firers. If anyone owns a camera, let me know thx.

Step 11: Borrow Interest (UPDATED)

Bear in mind, this is all an experiment, but I'm considering providing GiveMABookDers with fun/entertainment FROM OUTSIDE THIS BLOG. I've been entertained by this tactic on other blogs, and I need to start stealing successful ideas.

Such as: this f'ing hysterical commercial -- a finalist for Doritos Superbowl commercial contest -- created by none other than Friend-of-GmeABD Oren Brimer and pals.

So go check out this other person's thing, then give me credit for it. That's how this works.

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UPDATE: It seems that the link to the "hysterical commercial" below isn't driving everyone directly to the commercial in question. I don't have the blogging wherewithal to fix it, but if you follow that link and click the TV, you'll see the 5 finalist videos, and the one you want is called "New Flavor Pitch". I believe that it's worth all the laborious clicking.