Step 29: Inspire The Press

You know what sells books? Impossibly positive snippets from critical reviews. You see them on the back cover, on store displays, on colorful sandwich boards worn by vagrant children, etc. So I figured I'd give the reviewers a head start with some perfect chunks of cut-and-paste-ready zazz:

OPTION 1: MODERN, BOLD, WORLDLY
"Let it be known: an inspiring new voice has emerged from the fetid miasma that is today's so-called blogosphere. Allah be praised."

OPTION 2: CLASSIC, INTELLECTUAL, HUMAN
"As a jaded, personally miserable book critic, I can count on one creaky middle finger the number of times that I've actually enjoyed anything in life. So it is with that hooked digit that I salute the publishers of this book, who had the courage to midwife this mewling foetus of a book into our worthless, pointless existence. I am currently crying."

OPTION 3: YOUTHFUL, CONNECTED, CONCISE
"LOL this book rulezz its not gay like wuthering hites that book SUCKD hit 11 if u luv rihanna."

So there you go, reviewers - just pick one. Easy. I scratch your back, you scratch me.

Step 25: Help The Confused

Reluctantly, I feel obligated to respond to the disturbingly large amount of people who have expressed significant confusion as to what exactly this blog is. Many people don't "understand what the hell this thing is supposed to be".

So I'll be adding a "Frequently Asked Question" page, as soon as I figure out how to do that (or until one of my blogger/readers just tells me, which would be the best case scenario). For now, I think my first post says it the best, and it doesn't require any additional work for me:

"Lots of people make internet money by getting book deals based on their blogs. I can type legibly, so I figure I can probably blog. But what about? After nearly a week of intermittent thinking, I came up with an idea, with the help of my wife, who sort of was the one who came up with the idea: The blog will be about my efforts to get a book deal based on this blog."

Still flummoxed? Try starting from the aforementioned first post and reading GMABD backwards, i.e. sequentially/chronologically, for a more book-like experience. That should clear things up.