Step 26: Satiate Your Need To Know Me

In keeping with the tradition of making things easy for my inevitable book-deal givers, I've decided to write my "About The Author" book-jacket thing ahead if time, i.e. now:

"A distinguished man of letters, the word-artist known only as "I Deserve It" (unless the book dealers want me to reveal my true identity, which I'll do in a flash) is considered by many to be some kind of genius. His tireless and yet hard-work-less efforts to seize this book deal from the clutches of not getting one continue to inspire talentless entrepreneurs everywhere. He lives in an understated yet ostentatious mansion with his wife and hundreds of expensive dogs."

There we go. Another barrier hurdled. You're welcome.

Step 19: Advertise!

So it's all working. While I'm chock empty of ideas about creating relevant content of any kind, the crowdsourcery is cranking away. In the comment area after my last post, in which I joked about running ads on my shamefully large forehead, I got some great and insulting feedback/ideas. Then I put them to use:

fat bastard said...

"forget ad banners, unless it's for more shameless self-promotion."

Perfect, great idea. But how?

Scott and Kristin Regan said...

Now you just need to Botox those railroad tracks you have running across your forehead.

This insult made me realize that I could use my above-eyebrow wrinkles as horizontal guidelines for text on said ad banners. And so...

BEHOLD!!! My new banner ad on the right side of this page. Now I can drive incremental traffic without earning it, like those ads that shake and indicate that your computer is broken. I'm rubbing elbows with the pros! Here come the Book Deals, people. I won't forget you when I abandon you after I get one.